Leave Krypto’s Cape alone- or Else!
In the last few decades there’s been a decided de-musculation of Hollywood and entertainment. This has been echoed in our culture as well. It shouldn’t come as a surprise then when we see it in our movies. Entertainment is just another extension of our culture, therefore the connection. Superman has more in common with that kid in high school who was picked on by everyone and picked on the kid and he had to be saved by the football captain’s girlfriend. Yeah, Weak!
I took a couple of hours of my time and watched the latest Superman movie. The room wasn’t crowded (which seems to go against what the Hollywood reporters are pronouncing) and there seemed to be more people there for the latest Jurassic Park than the Superman movie. I think I want my money back. And my two and a half hours.
I think I need to be specific in one case. The movie was a good “Superhero” movie. If you took Person X and replaced Superman with him, you’d have a decent fun story to watch. Those who are not steeped into the lure of Superman will enjoy it. Those who grew up with Superman, are going to be sadly disappointed – as was I!
Let’s say from this point forward there will be spoilers. You’ve been warned.
Let’s start off about the first problem connected to the opening paragraph. Emasculation of Superman. In the Superhero stories I grew up in, Superman was the Big Gun. He was the guy you called in to defeat the Darkseid level characters. He was the guy, (for Marvel fans) who would wipe Thanos out in a few minutes (I know different universes, just helping out those who are exclusively Marvel fans understand the power level of Superman.) Geeks like to talk about the different power levels of Superman, weak to strong, but ultimately Superman is – SUPER – MAN! It’s in the name. He’s expected to be stronger and more bad ass than all the rest. Bad ass- by the way – not in smoking a cigar like Lobo or Wolverine (for my Marvel Friends again). But Bad Ass because as Jim Croce said: “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape. You don’t spit into the wind, or pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger,” Well Croce had it wrong. You can tug on Superman’s cape, and toss him against a wall, make him feel inferior on Social Media, beat him up with nanites and almost kill him multiple times. And like I said before- You better not mess with Krypto – cause he’s the one who will kick you A–!
It’s like the Doomsday comics never happened when Superman went toe to toe with a larger meaner version of a Kryptonian.
Throughout it all we’re supposed to believe the fiction from James Gunn that he was a fan and he read and knows the stories of Superman. Big Fail!
Superman needed to be saved by EVERYONE in the movie except Hawkgirl or Green Lantern. Even Lois Lane got into the action of saving Superman’s bacon. What happened to my Christopher Reeve Superman who spun the world around to save Lois Lane? What happened to my Superman who went toe to toe with Darkseid, multiple times? What happened to my Superman who said to Darkseid – “I feel like I live in a cardboard box because I have to hold back on everyone, but you big boy can take it can’t you?” – What happened to him? What happened to the multiple times that Superman has had to be called in to clear the boards of the bad guys. His super speed, strength and quick attack skills are completely NON-Existent in this movie.
There’s one line where Luthor tries to say Brain vs Braun – which is a line from the comics, but it isn’t proved – it could never be proved in this movie because Superman calls in his dog to save him (again and again and again). But seriously, Superman has access to a vastly higher level of technology than Luthor can only imagine. Luthor is cutting edge for Earth. Big Blue’s Tech level is cutting edge for the galaxy. On top of that, Superman has learned the technology of the Kryptonians and is far in advance of science than the people of Earth. His Fortress of Solitude is just ONE example of this. Superman has access to a database of information that is wicked far advanced. He has in his Fortress a vault filled with weapons where the least of them is the Phantom Zone Projector.
Let’s talk about another stupid fail of James Gunn.
The nanites in Superman’s lungs. I’m just going to use James Gunn’s own movie to disprove him. At the end credits scene, Supes and Krypto are sitting on the moon. If Superman can only hold his breath for an hour, wouldn’t that mean Krypto is less? And seriously? Wouldn’t Superman be there for like ten minutes and then have to fly back.
Do we not know that Supes gets his power from the Yellow Sun and that “breathing” is a secondary aspect of this. Like you can go days without food but you need water everyday. A minor fail, but still, not something that Superman wouldn’t be able to defeat far easier than that which is portrayed in this film.
And finally, by far the largest and biggest failed aspect of this film. Turning Krypton into an Ethno-state and Superman into a Hitlerian Super Soldier ala White Supremacy. Yes James Gunn did that. For nearly the entire length of the Superman Comic we have known that Superman was sent to Earth so that he could be a symbol, a person who will help the people of Earth. Yet, James Gunn wasn’t satisfied with that. He altered the story in the movie, had multiple sources confirm it within the movie (Including Mr. Technology Nerd himself – Mr. Terrific) AND NEVER CHANGED IT! That’s right. Today, after the movie, we find that Superman was sent to Earth to build himself a harem, have multiple children with these women and take over the Earth, rebuilding a Krypton.
Not the symbol of hope that we heard from in Man of Steel
There’s an underlying problem with all of this.
It’s James Gunn. I don’t know if he consulted anyone, or if he did and they gave him bad advice. I’m not sure if he thought he knew it all and just kept on with what he wanted to do.
I don’t really care.
At the end of the day it was a fine movie it was named “A Guy Really Powerful: (Insert Name)” and go from there.
What’s my score?
This is NOT a Superman Movie
Superman is kind in his movies, but not to the point where it’s disruptive.
Superman does NOT lose his cool unless you hurt Lois (or later on his kids)!
Superman is the calming voice of reason when the rest of things are breaking around him. He leads from the front.
Superman is the BIG GUN! He doesn’t call for help, he swoops in and saves the day. Over and Over and Over again. When he is having trouble he fights through it. He doesn’t surrender and he doesn’t give up – unless the director is James Gunn.
This isn’t a Superman Movie. It’s a James Gunn – Guardians of the Galaxy DC style. It seems he can’t do a main character that stands alone. Does he not realize that Superman can cross the planet in a few seconds? He could of been to Northern Africa and back to the US in less than a minute.
Not the weakened, incapable and three year inexperienced James Gunn version of Superman! What’s my score? It’s going down the more I write.
What I wanted to see:
While not perfect in the Justice League Movie (A movie done too early and without enough flesh on the bones.) There’s a scene during the Snyder Cut. Steppenwolfe is about to hit Cyborg with his axe. Just as the blade comes down Superman appears there and takes the blow. It lands on his shoulder, unfazing him. Superman says: “Not Impressed!” and then destroys the axe by freezing it with his breath and then breaking it with his barehands. We then have several minutes when he is beating the crap out of the bad guy, ending with his severed head landing through the portal to Apocalypse.
Minus the severed head part, it would have been great to see Superman rip and tear through many bad guys. Instead, we get a great fight scene from Mr. Terrific from Lois’s view point. The Smallville scene in Man of Steel where Superman is fighting Zod, Faora-Ul and Jax-Ur. That was some bang up, kick some rear fighting. Yes, Superman got beat up there, but it was 3 on 1. And at the end of it, the bad guys had to retreat!
What about James Gunn Superman. The opposite happened – REPEATEDLY!
I understand that there are different power levels of Superman. Yet, why call him Superman if he’s NOT Super?
What I wanted to see was Superman doing super things. Stopping an Earthquake. Stopping an bad guy. Stopping an evil doer! Instead we got Superman stopping a rift? Nope – that was Mr. Terrific. Stopping a bad guy? Nope, that was Jimmy Olsen and Lois Lane with an assist from Perry White. Beating up the bad guys? Nope, that was Green Lantern and Hawkgirl.
What’s my score?
Truth, Justice and the Human Way?
What crap is this?
Every time the Hollyweird establishment goes and makes something they have to show their contempt for America. Here is the PERFECT Example. How much do they hate America? Enjoy to keep away from the American Way. Some will argue that they did this to reach a wider audience.
Bull Hockey!
People flock to America because they want the American Way! They don’t want to live in repressive Russia or China, North Korea, or even Democracies like India or European Socialism. They want a STRONG AMERICA and Superman symbolized that in so many ways. The Hollyweird crowd that James Gunn is seeking acceptance think that the American Males are toxic, therefore a weak Superman. Hollyweird thinks that Mid-Western American Values that were the cornerstone of Clark Kent’s childhood are part of the problem with America, so – they have to axe the American Way.
This isn’t to make it sell better foriegn. It’s to match the Hollyweird crowds view that America is Evil and can only do bad things. Therefore, promoting something with the words “American Way” make it seem jingoistic.
It’s just the opposite Bum!
Is it jingoistic when the people of Hong Kong carried the American Flag in protest against Chinese takeovers?
Is it jingoistic when the people at Tiananmen Square built a statue of Liberty?
Was it jingoistic when every single revolution that leans towards democracy quotes and uses as their foundation the Declaration of Independence “All men are created equal and are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights….”
The answer is that it’s NOT jingoistic. It’s uplifting and good and because of that James Gunn and crew FAILED!
What’s my score? It’s dropping fast!
Johnathan and Marth Kent
Finally, the portrayal of Johnathan and Martha Kent. This is criminal. Making them back country local yokels with some hillbilly accent – spare me. You have had Glenn Ford, Kevin Costner, and John Schneider to name a few Jonathan Kents. For Martha you’ve had Diane Lane, Annette O’Toole and Eva Marie Saint – to name a few. I’m not complaining about your cast choices, I’m talking about the decisions on how they were presented. You went from well respected, top tier presentations of hard working Americans to making them look buffoonish.
It’s what we should have expected. The overall view of people like Gunn and those in Hollyweird is to think the people in the sticks are nothing but yokels. I can easily disagree. One farmer I knew, a cattle farmer, who had a masters in genetics. Does that sound like someone who is a yokel? I’ve known a bunch others that are far smarter than anyone I ever met with a degree.
What’s Next?
The outcome is simple. Fire James Gunn!
I don’t expect this to happen right away, but I do think that James Gunn’s days at WB are numbered. This debacle of a showing will be followed up with equally bad ones. If the outgoing line of Supergirl in the movie “See ya Bitch!” towards Superman is any expectation than we can see another fail on the horizon.
Yet, look at Marvel. They’ve had five solid years of failure since Endgame, and they’re still making terrible movies that are based more on their Politics than on the canon of the story. Yet, there is simply nothing excusable in turning Superman into a secondary character in his own movie. There’s nothing excusable in turning the background of Superman into a guy who was sent to be a tyrant, Krypton the ideal society with some flaws was made to look Hitlerian. Again, no excuses for that. And no excuses for this movie.
My score is a 4.4/10. And I think it’s generous. Let me say, if it wasn’t a Superman movie (As I suggested above), it’d be a 8.9/10 or higher.
But James Gunn ruined that. And because of that he should be fired from his position. Save the money and time of having to REBOOT the DC Universe – AGAIN! And just do it now before you get too deep into the storyline. Close up shop or get a real fan who isn’t going to turn Superman into a White Supremist and Krypton into an Ethno-State.
‘Nuff said on that.